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The case of a recurring nightmare with the same content that nearly killed me. [ふつうの日記]

2023年 7月29日(土) 晴れ
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The case of a recurring nightmare with the same content that nearly killed me.

I hear whispers of the devil. "You must go to the kitchen to get a knife and stab yourself repeatedly in the abdomen until you bleed to death." In my nightmare, I walk to the kitchen and look for the knife, but I cannot find it. The devil's whisper is a sense of obligation and compulsion to commit suicide now.

I wake up from the nightmare. After about four times the same nightmare repeats itself, and after the fifth time, the patient develops "REM sleep behavior disorder," in which the brain remains in the nightmare but the body wakes up and tries to realize the content of the nightmare. Here, the brain sees the path to the kitchen because it is in the nightmare world, but in reality the lights in the room and the hallway are off and it is pitch black. Even if my body moves, there is a difference from the world my brain sees, and I hit a wall in the darkness and really wake up. In other words, the devil's whispering ends in an attempt.

In this episode of mine, in the nightmare, the sense of obligation to commit suicide is dominant, and the inability to do so wakes me up from the nightmare. The repetition of the same nightmare causes "REM sleep behavior disorder," and the body wakes up, but the physical difference between the nightmare and reality causes the body to hit the wall and truly wake up, avoiding the worst of the situation. If I had reached the kitchen and found a kitchen knife in the state of "REM sleep behavior disorder," I would have bled to death by now.
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